The conspiracies and supposed mystery surrounding the life of John start pretty much on the day he was born. Even though he has a birth certificate and a social security card stating he was born in 1973, some people insist that date to be much earlier. In fact, many believe he was born in the summer of 300 B.C. and that he is actually an Immortal. Some even go so far as to say he is a Vampire. If you ask him, he will tell you he was raised on a small farm near Rochester NY in the mystical town of Marion. There is a claim that he and his family used to raise hippos for the extremely rare milk they provide (granting him the title Hippo Lord), while others say this farm was really an alternate dimension, a place of fairy folk and dragons. But, that’s entirely not true and most likely based upon the fact that the farm was treated like a nature preserve full of friendly birds, rabbits, squirrels and deer with next to no fear of humans, since hunting was not allowed on the near 47 acres of land. John often said he saw more deer growing up than he did domestic dogs. One curious thing though, he has yet to explain the small dwarf often sighted in the woods on the property. Perhaps there is some truth to John actually having first hand knowledge that the Dungeon Master actually is alive and well in upstate NY.
John’s first dollar was earned picking strawberries for local farms. It is said that he still owns the very first dollar he ever made, although not many can claim to have ever seen the item to back this up. He is fond of pointing out “If Scrooge McDuck saved his 1st dime and made such a fortune, imagine how much saving your 1st dollar must be worth for future gains!!” Acquiring his Drivers License at the early age of 16, John went on to work at McDonalds where he learned a high value work ethic and how to make biscuits. Most days this ended with him covered head to toe with flour. Some say this is the start of his legacy; the very first connections were made here at McDonalds that would lead to a most incredible life. Full of intrigue and mystery. A fact John whole-heartedly denies. He insists no connections of any value, save a few very good lifelong friendships, were ever made at his days as a fry cook.
In 1991, while working for McDonalds, John graduated with honors from Marion Central High and eventually set his sights on loftier goals. He quickly moved on to bigger and better things and started work at Wonderland Comics where his interest in all things fantastic would find it’s legs and build into a life-long quest for the unusual and the strange. It was in this time that he attended the esteemed Monroe Community College, where he studied Electronics and eventually graduated with an ASS. Degree in 1994. He also learned to read and write Egyptian Hieroglyphs there – something many people sight as proof of his dealings with otherworldly things. It was also there where some suspect he received his first assignments for the government and some say that ended with his help in creating the DVD by reverse engineering it from Alien Technology left over from a controversial 1947 crash site.
John stayed at the comic shop until around 1996-97 when he found a job at Xerox working in their Microelectronics department on Ink Jet Printers. Or so the story goes. Many think that was just a clever facade and perhaps Xerox has an underground Nuclear Facility hidden beneath the unsuspecting soil that makes up the huge complex in Webster NY. They site the fact that John quickly moved up in the ranks and eventually made the grade of Engineering Technician after just 3 years where he worked in both a Microelectronics lab and his own Laser lab. Once again he was in a position that linked him back to his work on alien DVD technology and it is said that with the use of high powered lasers, he perfected the technology and paved the way for the Blu-Ray discs we have today. Xerox also set John on a new path through the wonderful world of Multimedia on the Internet. And this is where his story takes an interesting turn. Although, he makes no claims to support this, some say he helped Al Gore invent the Internet. In truth, John completely denies ever even knowing Al Gore, but proponents of the Internet Theory have stated the fact that Xerox gave John a free ride through the highly regarded Rochester Institute of Technology gaining a BS degree in IT, as proof to the contrary. According to John, all this did was to give him both a degree worth ASS and one that was total BS.
And BS it may have been, for in 2001 he moved to Seattle WA only to find out that every bit of his degree in IT was worthless in the real world. Every interview he went on suggested he needed to learn more and more “up to date” information. So back to school it was – this time at Bellevue Community College. During this time, John caught a small break and for a summer he worked at Nintendo of America testing console games for the video game giant. Then, after that he eventually settled into a job at Half Price Books, where he would find the perfect career for himself ... for a while.
John worked his way up to Store Inventory Manager (SIM) and oversaw the inventory of the Bellevue Crossroads location, but recently, he stepped down to become a regular bookseller. To this day, John can be found roaming the isles of the Bellevue store sprucing up display tables and inventorying the many books, comics, DVDs, CDs and LPs this wonderful store has to offer. Many people wonder why he stepped down from the SIM, and point out that he has taken many trips overseas and around the USA (even a trip Hell's Creek to dig up Dinosaur bones with Jack Horner) - perhaps this 'stepping down' was a way to give him more time to work secretly for the government, who really knows!?
In recent years John branched out into web apps and started the software company Mowich.net LLC with his friend Jason Rigden. It is with Jason, that John also got into podcasting and together they produce shows such as The Super Awesome Geek Show. John also has his own eBay shop; Kingdom of the Geeks and sell toys and games to the masses. He is also an artist and has shown his work at esteemed art galleries around the Seattle area, such as Parklane in Kirkland and UpFront in Issaquah. He sells funny cartoony "Wish You Were Here" postcards on his Etsy store (also KingdomOfTheGeeks). Some say this is the perfect cover for this secret agent of the government, and they feel these are all just a front. Who would suspect a mild mannered artist and entrepreneur!?
John has seen many things in his lifetime and has traveled the world. In addition to traveling the full extent of the USA, he has also back-packed through Japan and trained his way through Italy from Rome to Naples and the fabled city of Pompeii. He even climbed a mountain in Japan. He also has helped in the Fashion Industry, doing runway shows in NYC and Las Vegas with famed clothing designer J.Me, who has worked with bands such as KMFDM (she now owns and operates The Motley Zoo Animal Rescue in Redmond). He has met Donna Karan and helped with Calvin Klein and was even in a Guess Jeans add. Although John may tell you otherwise, many believe he gave Donna Karan the idea for DKNY. John has done just about everything there is to do - He has been on Televisions far more than he deserves - took up way more than his fair share of the 15 minutes of fame, he learned to snowboard, surf, he's been skydiving and even bungee-jumped off a bridge - the list just goes on and on.
John was there when G.I.Joe destroyed the infamous Weather Dominator and foiled the plans of Cobra Commander. He is one of the few that are trusted with He-Man's ultimate secret. He was present when Mumm-ra’s Pyramid crumbled into ruins, thus ending the tyranny of New Thundara and freeing Wiley Kit and Kat from a life of constant battle. Now the twins are free to grow up and have a real childhood. He has his motorcycle license and some believe that he got that when he joined the organization known as M.A.S.K. He participated in the Battle of Yavin, although he had to turn his Y-Wing around before the final decisive blow was dealt. Too damaged in the ensuing battle, he was ordered to back out of the attack early. His Y-Wing was the only one to make it out alive that day alongside the Millennium Falcon and two X-wing Fighters.
It wasn't all glory though, as John was also there on a day that will always be etched into our memory. The day the world was shocked by the death of Optimus Prime at the hands of the sinister Megatron. I am sure everyone knows exactly where they were on that fateful day, as it is to be a day long remembered. A great hero, loved by millions, was lost to us all. More recently, John witnessed the assassination of Captain America after the terrible Meta-Human Civil War that raged in 2007 over disagreements in the SRA our Government instituted earlier that same year. There are some that even say he is friends with Starlord and that he is sometimes called upon to join The Guardians of the Galaxy when his special skills are needed. What special skills could the Guardians really need that they don't already have!? That's just one more mystery surrounding this man.
These incidents have led many to suspect that John is secretly a part of the Government agency known to the world as the CIA and also a member of the highly secretive Militvm Xpisti – otherwise known to some as the Knights Templar. Accusations he readily denies. John insists that there is no connection at all between him and the mysterious Knights or the Intelligence Agency. He has no knowledge of the location of the Holy Grail, the supposed UFO Phenomenon or Bigfoot, nor does he have any interest at all in Ancient Esoteric Cultures and Belief Systems. He professes to be just a well read comic book geek working at a great chain of book stores and that is all he is. He is just lucky is all and just happens to be careful with his finances so he is able to save a lot of money and can go on trips overseas and around the USA and sometimes he just gets to be in the right spot at the right time. Just pure dumb luck! Well luck may be on his side, but the conspiracy goes on. Mild Mannered Podcast Host or CIA Secret Spy?-The jury is still out.
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